Lucky Duck Cakes

I've been writing this entry for awhile now... Part of it in my head, part of it on the computer, part of it on sticky notes at work... Just jotting down ideas about how to put this into words to accurately represent my feelings on the whole matter. 

It's hard for me to tell the world that I'll be doing my last cake. I'm not sure why-- I don't owe the world anything at all. Maybe it feels like I'm quitting or that I'm letting down my friends, family, and customers by saying that I'm done... And these are just some of the feelings I've been dealing with since I was honest with myself about my future with LDC.

When I put cakes on hold in May and June of 2013 to focus on the wedding, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I didn't have to worry about stocking my cabinets with ingredients, making sure I had enough boxes and cake boards to fulfill orders, or being creative all while simultaneously trying to finish all the crazy things that came along with the last month of wedding planning. It was great! And I was looking forward to picking things back up in July.

Except that when July came, I wasn't as excited as I wanted to be, hoped I would be, or thought I should be about this business that I was running all on my own. I did our good friends' Mike and Jess's wedding at the end of July, and while I absolutely loved doing it for them, I realized just how stressful it is to put someone's wedding into your own hands. Party cakes are a completely different animal, but still carry some stress and worry. 

I can't tell you a single cake or cupcake order I've ever done that I didn't worry about a little bit. And I can tell you a whole slew of them that I lost sleep over. It is always worth it when I see someone's satisfaction or excitement over something I've created, but I realized that the final opinion from my customer wasn't outweighing the work it took to get there anymore. I had to say something to somebody, anybody, because it was eating away at me inside.

Of course, I took to saying something to Matt. I went into this whole big explanation, I'm sure that I cried, I probably rambled a bit, stumbled over my words, but when I was finally done talking, all that Matt said was "ok, so quit." And when I mentioned it to my girlfriends at work, they said the same thing. I started realizing that the only person who was going to give me a hard time about this was myself. 

I guess this is the point where someone reading this might think "ok, so what's the big deal? If you're the only person who cares, why make this long post about it?"

The answer is because I've taken this whole situation as a concrete realization that our lives are changing. I started this as a hobby while Matt was finishing school. It kept me busy, it was fun, it brought in some extra money, and was incredibly rewarding. At some point, my life shifted. I now get to spend a lot of time with my husband, we have developed several similar interests, we work more as a team than we ever have before, and doing this business on the side was taking away from all of that. And yes, we do want to start a family someday. And that will also take work and require time and more working as a team. It's not about me anymore. It's about US (and future, mini-USes). 

So there you have it, folks. Will I never bake again? Of course not. I love baking! Will I yell and scream at someone who asks me to do a cake or cupcakes for them? Of course not. I would still love to do (small) things for those I am close to... But gone are the days of advertising, of promoting, and of getting the LDC name out there. Who knows? Maybe someday I'll come back to it, and maybe I won't. But I know that if I do, if I choose to because it feels right again, I will have an unending supply of supportive friends, family, and client base who will welcome me back with open arms. It's those same people I am confident are applauding me right now for being honest with myself and for seeing life as a 28 year old who loves her day job and her husband should: it's time to move on and work toward the future. 

Despite as cliche as it might be to present a motivational quote to end this, the following words really don't do my feelings justice. This path of personal development I'm on with Matt has opened my eyes to possibilities I probably couldn't see had I not conquered the small business world myself and tested my abilities. 

“I know sometimes it's scary to think that you might do the wrong thing. It's terrifying to imagine wasting your 'one shot.' But let me assure you, nothing you do will be wasted. Every decision you make, every path you take, has the ability to contribute something you need to succeed at your dream.” 
-- Jon Acuff, Quitter

This was never my dream, and it's time to start working towards what is. Thank you all, so very much, for everything over the past 3 years. I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for the hundreds of opportunities you've all given me to shine and allow myself to excel at a talent I can hold in my back pocket for when I need it again. I will be doing my last cake, a gender reveal cake for my friends from college, on January 18th. My friends know I would like lots of pictures to showcase this last shabang, so please check back to see the results.

Thank you again. You are the best fans.